My daughter was asked by a little old lady in a London hotel restaurant what her daddy did. She answered, “He’s a pirate” - I was very proud of that answer.

I think everybody's weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.

if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate

We don't always cry because we are weak, sometimes we cry because we have been strong, brave and courageous for way too long.

I'm having too much fun today to worry about tomorrow.

People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.

Trust becomes the only road home, back to love.

Censorship is advertising paid by the government.

The mystical poetry of William Blake's artwork also forms the basis for the album cover.

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.

Every minute you invest in kids you get back four times over.

What? Corpus. Body. Corpse. Good idea the Latin. Stupifies them first. Hospice for the dying. They don't seem to chew it; only swallow it down.

To have six billion people on Earth, two billion of whom are carrying around a warped view of you? That has to register.

My talents are in demand, and my unique gifts are appreciated by those around me.

If you're cooking food, you don't have to count calories.

Youth goes caparisoned in immortality.