My entire life has been a lie.

My family comes first. Maybe that's what makes me different from other guys.

You're either sexy or you're not. I'm very self-conscious about my physiognomy.

Memories are like moonbeams; we do with them what we want.

I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents.

It isn't true that you live only once. You only die once. You live lots of times if you know how.

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That's the truth. And on that note, I'll say goodnight. God love you.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

There is nothing wrong with being afraid - but there is nothing more wrong than allowing that to be your master.

I've got a dream lover, so I don't have to dream alone.

I'm a singer who moves like a dancer.

It is the height of irony to prejudge someone of prejudice.

It is Homer who has chiefly taught other poets the art of telling lies skilfully.

I started performing at two or three on a tape recorder, one of those little flat recorders where you just push play and record.

You know, when the cost of capital goes down, when credit becomes cheap, people start taking greater and greater risks.

You [Hillary Clinton] are the puppet!

To me a saint is a severely edited sinner. That's what I think.

Those who say that the study of science makes a man an atheist, must be rather silly people.

I was Tea Party years before there was an official Tea Party.

The best performance advice I have ever been given was to "Know where your light is, onstage."

It's tough to fully believe in yourself sometimes.