My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

We make our own music. We paint our own future.

I've started to feel very odd within my own life. It's most peculiar to feel lonely inside your own life.

What's life without whim's?

And then there's silence. Though is silence the right word when, through the quiet, the air is so charged, electricity crackles deafeningly without making a sound?

A vine bears three grapes, the first of pleasure, the second of drunkenness, and the third of repentance.

Tayyip Erdoğan is megalomaniac President, he is not stable. He lives during the Ottoman era, he doesn't live in the current time. He's out of touch with the reality.

You can't go out to the mound, hobbling and take a pitcher out with a cane.

I've done Last Samurai in Japan, in LA, in New Zealand. Even in Japan it is very hard to shoot, because there's been so many changes. Only around a temple can we shoot.

Not many people like it when they get criticism. Of course, if you have someone who does tell you and you do have a rapport, that's great. But don't rely on it. You have to rely on yourself.

Jackie Chan is a myth.