My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Glory is the sunshine of the dead

I feel like the movie is reminding people of who they are, which is what I think all great art does.

Only run special plays for special players; find plays that fit your players.

I don't have sociopathic tendencies!

To animalise is humane, to humanise is animal.

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

The design of a city is like a strange archeology.

I wish I were a character actor. Of course, if I played hockey without a mask, I could become one.

It was between the ages of 14 and 20 and I started off not eating at all, maybe an apple a day.

Over time, as the daily routines become second nature, discipline morphs into habit.