My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Truth is Evidence of Love. And, Nothing Can Stop the Power of Trusting and Loving Unconditionally.

The ritual of our daily lives permeate our very bodies.

If you are having problems with money, the answer isn't cutting back. The answer is to make more money.

I'm so bored of all these girls who have written about 20 books by the time they're 25.

I really admire people who are extraordinarily tolerant and patient.

I'd say that the No. 1 attribute you need as an actor is to be malleable. You need to be able to change and tailor what you're doing to what the situation dictates.

The best thing I can do is work hard, be ready to train every day, do my best for Torino, do my best when I represent my country and then hopefully the rest will take care of itself.

Under no pretext should arms and ammunition be surrendered; any attempt to disarm the workers must be frustrated, by force if necessary.

I think I am mad sometimes.

I know only two tunes: one of them is "Yankee Doodle" and the other isn't.