My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Give what you possess.

The idea which...shuts out the Second Coming from our minds, the idea of the world slowly ripening to perfection, is a myth, not a generalization from experience.

The little things in life are the happiest

We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise.

Love could be fractured and serve different purposes, and that intense love could be divided, between people just as easily as between moments of time.

You know, if I can survive marching band, I can survive anything.

As long as you've done your best, making mistakes doesn't matter. You and I are human; we will mess up. What counts is learning from your mistakes and getting back up when life has knocked you down.

The best of all monopoly profits is a quiet life.

Robbing someone of their smile and putting it on your own face doesn't make you happy.

Wildlife needs wilderness-not just to survive, but also to live freely. Sadly, many species struggle to survive due to increased human activity and expansion into habitats they call home.