My father and mother separated when I was two months old.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

You look ridiculous if you danceYou look ridiculous if you don't danceSo you might as welldance.

Half of the people in this room are more dressed up than on any other day in the year, and the other half are more dressed down.

I'm excited to flex my Broadway muscles - it keeps you alive as an actor.

Walt Whitman is HOT! I mean, that guy could sound his barbaric yawps over the roofs of my world any time.

People are no longer sinful, they are only immature or underprivileged or frightened or, more particularly, sick.

As his country crumbled around him, Fidel Castro's stature diminished abroad and at home.

You need to eat what's local. So that's what I'm trying to do - just be as close to nature as possible.

We justify ourselves when we should judge ourselves. If we learned humility, it might spare us the humiliation.

It's asking a great deal that things should appeal to your reason as well as your sense of the aesthetic. - Of Human Bondage

Don't offer God partnership when he wants penitence. Don't present him with lip service when He wants your life.