My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

The reform of a college English department cuts no ice down at the corner garage.

If a book really wants the patronage of a great name, it is a bad book; and if it be a good book, it wants it not.

I've seen many films and read lots of thrillers - and I'm always disappointed that I can guess the story before the other viewers.

Man's greatest concern is to know how he shall properly fill his place in the universe and correctly understand what he must be in order to be a man.

Death is to be feared because of the pain and loss it inflicts through love, and for no other reason.

Take time to pray and listen to God...say, 'Sir, what should I say at this moment? What should I do? My ears are open and my eyes are open. I'm listening.'

Sport is the habitual and voluntary cultivation of intensive physical effort.

But I know loving someone means losing a part of myself.

If you listen to neurologists and psychiatrists, you'd never fall in love.

Freedom begins as we become conscious of it.