My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

The tendency of the human mind is to see the world with a ‘dualistic’ view that describes everything through comparisons: good and bad, pain and happiness, beauty and ugliness, rich and poor.

The financial elite already have the politicians in their pockets, as a result of their lobbying.

There must be somebody there, because somebody must have said "Nobody.

Some manufacturers illustrate their advertisements with abstract paintings. I would only do this if I wished to conceal from the reader what I was advertising.

Success is having a career that you love with every fiber in your body.

You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.

You cannot leave the house to take the garbage out without full-on makeup and your hair done. You have to fight for your man out there.

Adrian, you're a genius.

Because the reward is worth the risk.

Love is counting someone else’s needs and interests as more important than your own needs or interests or comfort.