My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight.

Your character is who you really are.

The music does bring us together and it's cheaper than therapy!

Poetry is nothing but healthy speech.

All I've ever really done is page 3 in The Sun, and not every man reads that.

We must help the child to act for himself, will for himself, think for himself; this is the art of those who aspire to serve the spirit.

Reflection and action must never be undertaken independently.

Sharing is the most precious religious experience. Sharing is good.

I want to be in control of my own destiny.

There's not much that doesn't get me stoked.