My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

At moments of great enthusiasm it seems to me that no one in the world has ever made something this beautiful and important.

God is what you imagine him to be

As our body journeys through life, and life journeys on our body….life will leave marks on us too. From the creases of our wrinkles to the birthmarks on our bodies to the tattoos we decide to place.

The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.

The test of pleasure is the memory it leaves behind. (Die Probe Eines Genusses ist Seine Erinnerung.)

Plan your work and work your plan. Decide in advance exactly how you are going to get from where you are to where you want to go.

Is this not enough? This blessed sip of life Is it not enough? Staring down at the ground Then complain and pray for more from above Greedy little pig

You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool your own mind.

A women who does not know herself has no choice other than to live with other people's evaluations.