My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Babies are the buds of life ready to bloom like a fresh flower to refresh humanity.

The more you believe in yourself, the more the world believes in you!

Successful companies are built by investing large amount of money and hundreds of litres of sweat.

You are to me, what wind is to dry leaves. The reason for me to fall, the reason for me to fly.

Technology is making gestures precise and brutal, and with them men.

If you can't pay for a thing, don't buy it. If you can't get paid for it, don't sell it.

The day of the absolute is over, and we're in for the strange gods once more.

There is no getting around it; Congress is failing the American people.

Without forgiveness, there can be no real freedom to act within a group.

I always invest in companies an idiot could run, because one day one will.