My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

You can’t go back, Ever. You can’t change the past. It just is. . . . This is our destiny. Not yours.

Oh hours of childhood, when behind each shape more than the past appearedand what streamed out before us was not the f

She felt so human that he could barely carry on a conversation.

Everything is like a wall. Said a scholar to the troll. Bang your head to go on through. Then you'll see, there is no queue.

We can do noble acts without ruling the earth and sea.

We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do things we don't even dream we can do.

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

An investment in your personal development is the best investment you can make.

Sanctification is possessing the mind of Christ.

There is no such thing as failure, only partial success!