My favorite fur is wild acrylic.

I don't know who said 'pictures don't lie.' It couldn't have been a photographer.

life is just high school all over again, only with bigger bills to pay.

Sometimes the truth is not as believable as a well-crafted lie.

Where were we? I've forgotten. He was deciding whether to cut her throat or love her forever.Right. Yes. The usual choices.

Of course the New Testament is very small. Its mouth opens four times as out-of-date as a prehistoric monster, yet somehow man-made.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

We probably, as primitive people, made music before we actually had a language, and that's where language comes from.

Parents have too little respect for their children, just as the children have too much for the parents.

Yet I shall temper so Justice with mercy, as may illustrate most Them fully satisfy'd, and thee appease.

Abortion is the taking of a life.

I'm the only comedian qualified to navigate a supertanker.

To see the unreal is wisdom. Beyond this lies the inexpressible.

I guess the majority of people who want to ban certain musicians are the ones who are so proud of everything America stands for.