My femininity is always something I've tried to preserve in this dog-eat-dog world.

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's a train.

Sin recognized but that may keep us humble, But oh, it keeps us nasty.

I went out to dinner with a Marine last weekend. He looked across the table and he goes, "I could kill you in seven seconds." I go, "I'll just have toast, then."

I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in.

The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently.

I hate people. People make me pro-nuclear.

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said "No."

My mom's Jewish and my dad's Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.

Love is divine and peaceful but hate is devilish and dreadful. So love everyone without judging them, you will be in peace always.

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Remember that life's big changes rarely give advance warning.

The infernal flag-waving after 9/11 nearly drove liberals out of their gourds. For the left, 'flag-waving' is an epithet.

I love filming in Britain.

In comedy, my strengths are improvisation.

Religions do make claims about the universe--the same kinds of claims that scientists make, except they're usually false.

I just really have an affinity for women. Watching them go through journeys is more interesting to me than watching men.

Too often, the person who wrecks our work is us.

When you write something it has to hit the level that you accept as being good.