My first professional job was appearing in a disastrous theatre production of Oh, What a Lovely War in Leicester Rep, shortly after leaving Cambridge.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

If you’re a writer, your first duty, a duty you owe to yourself and your readers, and to your writing itself, is to become wonderful. To become the best writer you can possibly be.

Don’t waste time. Avoid the company of wasteful people who lack the desire to achieve. Become assertive and action-oriented.

For I see not what there is desirable in publick esteeme, were I able to acquire & maintaine it. It would perhaps increase my acquaintance, the thing which I chiefly study to decline.

I look and look, / As though I could be saved simply by looking

I am always worried when someone says, 'This is perfect.'

But God knows, I don't want anyone but you. I don't even want to want anyone but you.

How shall we praise the magnificence of the dead, The great man humbled, the haughty brought to dust?

A dirge for her the doubly dead in that she died so young.

Matte or satin sheen scuffs up very easily. So, unless you have it professionally done, definitely paint shelves or cabinets with something with a higher sheen.

Beaches and romantic comedies are not my thing. I'm a workaholic.