My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

There are men who are happy without knowing it.

When looking to adopt a new dog, the most important thing to consider is always the energy of the dog and how the dog will fit in with your lifestyle and your family.

But you can do one, you can do the other, or you can do both - meaning fight it out but be in a place that's more comfortable.

I begin to understand as never before that holiness is made of dailiness, of living life as it comes to me, not as I insist it be.

If we did get a divorce, the only way my husband would find out about it is if they announced it on Wide World of Sports.

Give up all ideas about yourself and simply be.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?

I am my own worst enemy. My friends and family will say, Youve got everything going for you right now, and I say, Oh yes, but! Which is not a good way to be.

Know that no one is capable of making you upset without your consent.

The mad also laugh, or is that what Freud and the others discovered perhaps, that only the mad laugh?