My folks were English. They were too poor to be British. I still have a bit of British in me. In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

I still think sincere pessimism the unpardonable sin.

You drank my blood." With one arched brow, Rachel seared Rees with her stare."Yes, but only because he commanded it.

Free-will doesn't include shit-happens, unless that's the goal of one's intention.

People in this world are not often logical.

I can go round the clock without sleep.

Don't think of us as separate beings. Imagine that we are one body and it's been split into millions. When we sit in the mediation hall - that is unity

Nowhere in my collection do I, say, have a Auguste Renoir painting. Because everybody knows that this is a good painter without me having to demonstrate it.

I love football. My weekends are booked. Saturday college games and Sunday NFL and 'Monday Night Football.' Booked! Football is first, then basketball and then everything else.

God has really blessed me with the ability to put me ahead of the class.

Whenever anything changes and quits its proper limits, this change is at once the death of that which was before.