My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.

There's a domino effect with certain things you say.

I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.

I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

love is my thighs, this belly, my eyes.love is my speech, the search, my cry.love is myself in the mirror.i will see love every time.

People in my books tend to get their just deserts, even if not at the hands of the police.

The key to success is to develop a winning edge.

It's our responsibility as humans to take care of each other.

Truths physical have an origin as divine as truths religious.

Fish marreth the water, and flesh doth dress it

"Equestrian", by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.

I have never in all my life considered you other people.

I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

There is no worse torture than knowing intellectually about love and the way.