My friend Phil has a theory that the Lord, having made teenagers, felt constrained to make amends and so created the golden retriever.

If there is a secret to writing, I haven’t found it yet. All I know is you need to sit down, clear your mind, and hang in there.

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.

And the propensity of weak and empty people to follow a leader into the darkness from which there is no return is still flourishing, as ever.

You need the will to disarm the civilian population. If we can do it in Somalia, we can do it here.

We have a new class in this country: the deserving rich. ... The deserving rich do nice things for each other. Comforting the unafflicted is something that comes naturally to them.

I am hoping for better times. That's how you know us hapless gardeners - by our dirty fingernails and our absurd, unquenchable optimism about next year.

Baseball has a special place in our hearts. It is the game that shows us as we would like to be.

Appliances have idiosyncracies, just like us. Unfortunately they have picked up our less attractive traits - they are proud, spiteful, and unforgiving.

[On men:] On their best days, the best of them are eight years old.

Human sacrifice is much in vogue right now. The Republican right thinks that people who get on its nerves, especially women, should be sent to the stake. . .

Please wake me when I'm freeI cannot bear captivity4 I would rather be stricken blindThan 2 live without expression of mind

The destiny of [Google's search engine] is to become that Star Trek computer, and that's what we are building.

The mirror reflects all objects without being sullied

I bought my first horse when I was 15. I always loved racing and I started studying about breeding and I've been doing it now for 30 years, so I have some credibility.

Fiscal policy, monetary policy, they need to work together to try and raise the level of growth.

You must see the persons who are in charge-persons you can punish or vote for.

I'm 27. I feel like I get it. I'm OK with being sexy if I feel like it. Some days I'm brainy, some days I'm funny, some days I'm sexy, and sometimes, I just want to dance.

Angels are unsatisfiable in their longing to do by all means all manner of good unto all the creatures, ...especially the children of men.

I wear some of my stuff, but usually the less in-your-face designs. I get a little self conscious, there is a fine line between pride and ego.

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.