My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Only by going alone in silence, without baggage, can one truly get into the heart of the wilderness. All other travel is mere dust and hotels and baggage and chatter.

Developing your unique thought to the level of being appreciated and adopted by the world - that's genius.

I feel if you believe in equality, you have to believe in it for everybody. And that's the way I've always lived my life.

With society and its public, there is no longer any other language than that of bombs, barricades, and all that follows.

Operating systems are like underwear — nobody really wants to look at them.

What a woman does is open doors. And it is not a question of locking or unlocking.

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

I brag on the Democratic Party. We're libertarian on social issues, it's live and let live. Fiscally, we're conservative and responsible, and were environmentally conscious.

But if I lost you, it would devastate me as nothing else has or ever could. You have so much power over me and that’s frightening.

Sometimes I have taken photographs and just felt so excited that I could barely hold the camera steady, and the photo was boring.