My goal as a young man, to be fat, famous and financially fixed by 50.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

I would say happy new year but it's not happy

The future is a possibility

The select natures who pant after the ideal, and find nothing in pantaloons or petticoats great enough to command their reverence and love, are curiously in unison with the narrowest and pettiest.

Dream big and love bigger.

Olivier was another case of a genius, who couldn't understand why anybody would have any trouble doing this, because for him it came so easily.

If you don't believe you can do something then you can't.

Jesus has made Himself the Bread of Life to give us life. Night and day, He is there. If you really want to grow in love, come back to the Eucharist, come back to that Adoration.

They have so fundamentally flawed techniques it's ridiculous. They shoot the ball flat. They all stand upright, there's just so many things they do incorrectly.

Adversity, and perseverance and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and a self-esteem that is priceless.