My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Jan is het kotsbeu dat de Kerk al het kwade blijft wijten aan de van van de mens en dat al het lijden mensen dichter bij God brengt.

Love is more about being the right person than finding the right person.

At the end of the day, if pride is your greatest strength, turn it into vanity.

I want a busy life a just mind and a timely death.

I like smoking pot, but I'm not the kind of guy who smokes every day.

The sad thing about any business I suppose, but in mine you see it particularly, is that you’re always asked to do what you’ve already done.

The biggest trouble with success is that its formula is just about the same as that for a nervous breakdown.

I was never that much a focus of interest that I became a 'thing' at an earlier point in my career. I'm aware of having become a 'thing' now, which doesn't give me a lot of pleasure.

The way to improve our schools is not more money, but the reintroduction of moral and spiritual values, as well as the four R's: reading, 'riting, 'rithmatic, and Rush.

Seek for the truth from the heart which is empty of thought.