My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

You can have all the capabilities; if you don't have the quality people, you don't have much.

Humanity is reaching the end of the evolutionary stage of ego. The closer we get to the end, the more dysfunctional humanity becomes.

The human heart was undeniably the stupidest organ in the body.

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.

There is an essence of, when you are fearless, you become more creative, and the more fearless I became, the more creative I was.

I had led a private life and wanted to die a private death.

I just like having fun.

Farce is nearer tragedy in its essence than comedy is.

It's just a crazy damned life, that's all.

Many cultures have independently developed a belief system in reincarnation that includes return of the unit of consciousness to another physical lifetime on Earth.