My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

There is no religion better than love, no color better than the color of happiness and no language better than the language of compassion.

He's the sort of guy that gets a laugh out of people.

If mistakes determine our worth, then we're all worthless.Thank God that's not the case.

Genius is not a retainer to any emperor, or is its material silver, or gold, or marble, except to a trifling extent.

The fatal mistake we make is looking for a paradise that endures...This obsession with what lasts causes us to overlook many a fleeting paradise.

Myths are early science, the result of men's first trying to explain what they saw around them.

Show me a person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag.

Sons or fathers, poor men or rich men, sacred or secular: all are homosexual in their worship of everything phallic.

I've never wanted to be put into a box, not musically.

Once you're truly happy with yourself alone, that's when you are safe to find the right person to spend the rest of your life with.