My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

To convert a day is to produce a product

Sometimes the darkness finds us, that will always be inevitable. If one chooses to manifest such feelings creatively, then it really isn't darkness at all.

Words are to be taken seriously. I try to take seriously acts of language. Words set things in motion.

… I can only wish to remember the good timesand forget the things I refuse to remember. They are nothing but heartache.”-Sophia to Zarah, The Forest of Evergreen: Found in the Wilderness

The gist of what Mayor Giuliani said - that the President has shown himself to be completely unable to speak the truth about the nature of the threats from these ISIS terrorists - is true.

somehow at parties at which one stays standing up one seems to require to be more concentratedly intelligent than one does at those at which one can sit down.

Peace on earth and mercy mild are still possible. On Christmas Eve, all things are possible.

Strong affections for God, rooted in and shaped by the truth of Scripture - this is the bone and marrow of Biblical worship.

We have embraced the 21st century by entering such cutting-edge industries as brick, carpet, insulation and paint. Try to control your excitement.

So sweet was ne'er so fatal. I must weep. But they are creul tears. This sorrow's heavenly; it strikes where it doth love.