My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

It doesn't really matter who said it - it's so obviously true. Bevore you can write anything, you have to notice something.

Timmy, who made a daring escape, also made a mistake of paying the taxi driver with a check made out of toilet paper.

Throughout history there have been those who have created change, and others who have feared it.

Self-consciousness is hell.

The author offers Paul Tripp's analogy that most of the strategies for growth in the Christian life amounts to stapling live roses on a dead bush.

It is important to me to instill in [kids] a sense of compassion and respect for others.

Being black, I'm involved in the reparations movement. It's focused toward the African-American audience. We could begin to heal.

God has already lined up the right people for you, people that will inspire you, challenge you and motivate you. If you’ll let go of the wrong people, then the right people will show up.

The real secret is to build an organization that isn't afraid to make changes while it is still successful, before change becomes imperative for survival.

I didn't know you would be here last night, but you were. We can't fight fate. Instead, we must accept that fate has given us a special opportunity.