My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Live for today. Multitudes of people have failed to live for today. ... What they have had within their grasp today they have missed entirely because only the future has intrigued them.

People can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain.

What we will not wait for is that particular nexus of terrorism, weapons of mass destruction that is extremism, and the technology to come together in a way that is harmful to the United States.

It was in a way a comforting idea; if there was all the time in the world, then the happenings of a given moment became less important.

As we speak cruel time is fleeing. Seize the day, believing as little as possible in tomorrow.

Writing is one of the main ways that I process the experience.

As long as we keep winning, I'm happy.

You are only limited to what you push yourself to, you know? You can always get better.

When he wins the bet, I tell Griggs that it will take me a lifetime to save up two trillion dollars and he tells me that he's only giving me seventy years.

To wisdom belongs the intellectual apprehension of eternal things; to knowledge, the rational knowledge of temporal things.