My idea of a good novel was one you made enough money out of to buy a greenhouse.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I had a dream about you last night.We moved into a cabin in the countryside.I couldn't handle the spiders.You couldn't handle my drama.I moved back to the city.

Those who live in gratitude start their day by setting their intentions and the direction they want to move in each day.

How would we get corporate sponsorship if we were just a bunch of thugs?

The man with the most guns survives the zombie apocalypse, but the man with the most books, locks the door and forgets it ever happened.

I'd love to be popular in Barcelona. That sounds like a fun job

For my hustlers, here's some motivation: He who has begun is half done.

Individual liberty, the basic underpinning of American society, requires constant defense against the encroachment of the state.

The product Disney created actually changed a life, and that was significant to them. They didn't stand in my way at all.

I was desperate for something to read that dealt realistically with teenage life, and I thought others might be, too.

A healthy newborn has been delivered in a more or less satisfying fashion. The baby is feeding well, has short nails and a clean bottom, and has not drowned. What now?