My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

Such Excessive Preoccupation With The Faults Of Others Only Manages To Bring The Spotlight To Shine Bright On Whatever It Is You May Have Hiding Behind All Your Self Perceived Glory.

One day there will be no more stars. There will be no more darkness. You see, light isn’t the absence of darkness. Darkness is the absence of light.

Great teamwork, great results.

Killing a pig for a good old fry-up is one thing. But there’s no excuse for being cruel, even if you’re a bored teenage kid.

To an old man any place that's warm is homeland.

The landscape for business isn’t changing because of social media, it’s changing because consumer expectations are evolving.

When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.

Do this research if we don't have a season -- watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game.

It is rarely that the pleasures of the imagination will compensate for the pain of sleeplessness.

In order to become a great man, one must first be a great rascal.