My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.

The way we value black beauty has changed. I'm single now, but back in the slave days, I would have never been single. I'm 6 feet tall and I'm strong. Look at me, I'm a Mandingo.

You can't rush good wine. It has to sit. And when you finally drink it, it's the bomb. It's worth the wait.

People think I'm an overnight success. No. It's just that you all found me overnight.

I take care of everybody. I'm either hugging you or making sure that you're not sick, because my backpack has every kind of medicine in it.

When you're writing a sketch, it has to be surrounded by a situation. It can't just be out of the air.

I'm really good at standup. I always win at standup.

I didn't realize the age thing until I got hired and everybody was telling me I was f - -ing old.

You have to always keep conditioning. My coach used to say, "You play like you practice." If you practice s - -ty, you're going to play s - -ty.

I'm not leaving America because it doesn't support me.

I had all the intentions of being the next Eddie Murphy.

I'm always sad when Dad doesn't like my columns. He waits for them every week and usually likes them, in which case he doesn't say a word - it's only if he's critical that he bothers to call.

My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.

Who cares about a kid from the Midwest writing pentameter? It's stupid.

Those who are the most happy appear to know it the least; happiness is something that for the most part seems to mainly consist in not knowing it.

I'm paying for a mistake I made

There are some singers that know exactly when to go, and others hang on much too long and that is the same, that is the same with judges.

Don't want that, do they?” She throws back her head and shouts, “Whole country in rebellion? Wouldn't want anything like that!

I am earth, earth My heart's love Bursts with hay and flowers. I am a lake of blue air In which my own appointed place Field and valley Stand reflected

All your life you live so close to truth, it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye, and when something nudges it into outline it is like being ambushed by a grotesque.

I'd better make hay while the sun shines.