My main success was an attitude. Always an attitude.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

Innovations shapes the future and our willingness to explore it makes our existence meaningful.

Really? We are being herded on a bus to drive across town to an all-boy academy where we disembark and join our lonely counterparts on a dance floor. Sounds like a scorecard situation to me.

Outside sleep's open window, between the drops of rain, history is writing a recipe book for every earthly pain.

A wise man has dignity without pride; a fool has pride without dignity.

I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.

Oh my god, it's good to be alive!

I've had the wind knocked out of me, but never the hurricane

I believe that one of the most powerful things of all is aesthetics.

Life is short, but art lives forever.

Marriage is a formality, a legal bondage. Love is of the heart; marriage is of the mind. That's why I am never in favor of marriage.