My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

During your struggle society is not a bunch of flowers, it is a bunch of cactus.

If you carry a weapon, war will follow you. If you carry a smile, love will knock at your door.

Neuroanatomy, political history, and introspection all offer evidence that human beings are quite capable of resisting the urge to surrender to every impulse of reptilian core of brain.

True love needs no words.

It has been a long fight to put the control of our economic system in the hands of the government.

Now on 'Bachelor Pad' it is true colors - no best foot forward anymore, everybody is really themselves.

You don't hear no artists from Compton showing vulnerability.

Once an audience feels that you trust them like you trust a friend, they do become your friends.

Since nature has the most sustainable ecosystem and since ultimately agriculture comes out of nature, our standard for a sustainable world should be nature's own ecosystem.

Instead of our petulant, fretful, irritable human hastiness we should cultivate in our souls the patience which has learned to wait on God.