My melon soulCrushed by your Gallagher of apathy

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.

To this day I don’t know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or if he was mentally counting to see if he had that many shells left in the gun.

When a man plans, a woman laughs.

Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.

Here’s exclusive Channel 5 video of a local man having his brain eaten by a winged gremlin. Local gremlin experts warn that—

... life is a flickering candle we all carry around. A gust of wind, a meaningless accident, a microsecond of carelessness, and it's out. Forever.

You see, time is an ocean, not a garden hose. Space is a puff of smoke, a wisp of cloud.

I'm scared David""That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of

I tried to say something cool, wound up stammering something like, “WANNA YOU WANNA WEENIE ME?” The end kind of trailed off in a shrill, choking warble.

A way of using words to say things which could not possibly be said in any other way, things which in a sense do not exist till they are born … in poetry.

Most people weren't wired to see miracles, even when one was staring them in the face.

I choose what I believe, and say nothing. For I am not as simple as I may seem.

Neil Kinnock's speeches go on for so long because he has nothing to say and so he has no way of knowing when he's finished saying it.

The modern marketer is: an experimenter, a lover of data, a content creator, a justifier of ROI.

Blessed is the mind which, during prayer, is insensible to all things.

the reward for total abstinence from alcohol seems, illogically enough, to be the capacity for becoming intoxicated without it.

Leadership is Idealism in Action.

I always had a fantasy of meeting a girl who was as serious as I was.

Here's the deal with Matty Morrison: He is the most unassuming, nicest, most humble guy, who also happens to be extremely talented.