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Amy Schumer Quotes: My mom's always saying really smart things... like, you probably heard this one, 'Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV?' Wish I'd listened to that one.
         

My mom's always saying really smart things... like, you probably heard this one, 'Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV?' Wish I'd listened to that one.


Amy Schumer
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Other quotes of Amy Schumer


We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.



You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.



I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.

I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.



I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.



Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'



Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.



Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.



I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.



I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.



I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'





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My desire to see as much of the world as I could started with these stars.

My desire to see as much of the world as I could started with these stars.



When a passion is not realized ... it fades away, or becomes ideal worship--Dante--Petrarch--that sort of thing!

When a passion is not realized ... it fades away, or becomes ideal worship--Dante--Petrarch--that sort of thing!



Praying men are God's agents on earth, the representative of government of Heaven, set to a specific task on the earth.

Praying men are God's agents on earth, the representative of government of Heaven, set to a specific task on the earth.



To suffer because of anything you see, feel or experience here in the world of moment to moment is a mistake. It is like becoming upset over a frightening dream.

To suffer because of anything you see, feel or experience here in the world of moment to moment is a mistake. It is like becoming upset over a frightening dream.



I want to do more movies. I feel like it's a totally different skill set than there is to theater. It's much more internal.

I want to do more movies. I feel like it's a totally different skill set than there is to theater. It's much more internal.



If i were to lose my memories, I would rely on music. There is so much of my story embedded in each.

If i were to lose my memories, I would rely on music. There is so much of my story embedded in each.



Nature insists on whatever benefits the whole.

Nature insists on whatever benefits the whole.



When the wisdom of the heart replaces the chatter of the mind, The power of Love flows forth.

When the wisdom of the heart replaces the chatter of the mind, The power of Love flows forth.



I think most actors like to do things that are right outside of their comfort zone.

I think most actors like to do things that are right outside of their comfort zone.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "My mom's always saying really smart things... like, you probably heard this one, 'Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV?' Wish I'd listened to that one.". Author of this quote is Amy Schumer. This quote is about wish, my mom, milk, mom, heard, smart, really smart,.