My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait."

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

Love Goddess in training. It could happen.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist.

I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard.

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing.

Because Christ's life-story tells us about God and His complete work, let us learn the meaning of God's appearance "in the flesh" so that we could know Him better (1 Timothy 3:16).

The hardest secret to keep is one you don't know you have

Acceptance makes any event put on a new face.

Happiness lies in virtuous activity, and perfect happiness lies in the best activity, which is contemplative

An optimist is the person who has never had any experience at all.

Getting an unsophisticated client was the golden prize. The quickest way to make money on Wall Street is to take the most sophisticated product and try to sell it to the least sophisticated client.

It would not be worth your while to reach the age of seventy if all the wisdom of the world were to be foolishness before God.

The music game is more than just my love for singing, its a sport for me.

Heaven is where the reasonable people are!

The first lines of defence against criminals are the victims themselves.