My mother had always told her kids: if you're about to do something, and you want to know if it's a bad idea, imagine seeing it printed in the paper for all the world to see.

I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark, drop on the floor so you could stomp on it.

Friends see most of each other’s flaws. Spouses see every awful last bit.

Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.

The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you.

Love makes you want to be a better man. But maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.

I was not a lovable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. Draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs.

They always call depression the blues, but I would have been happy to waken to a periwinkle outlook. Depression to me is urine yellow, washed out, exhausted miles of weak piss.

Sleep is like a cat: It only comes to you if you ignore it.

Ironic people always dissolve when confronted with earnestness, it's their kryptonite

There’s something disturbing about recalling a warm memory and feeling utterly cold.

I LIVE MY LIFESO HAPPILY IN CRAZY WITH HER.

The man's emotions flowed back and forth like waves of the sea.

To these ideals which were instilled in me when I was a youth, I attribute in a large degree the success that was mine on the bicycle tracks of the world.

I don't shop because I need something, I just shop for shopping's sake.

It's amazing the way one can take a step ten and a half miles long and still always land in a cowpat.

I'm already hot, you could say I'm pre-heated. If money talks, mine's telling your's to 'be seated

Dignity is more important than wealth.

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life.

Before God and his people I express my sorrow for the sins and grave crimes of clerical sexual abuse committed against you. And I humbly ask forgiveness.