My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive," . . . and hangs up.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

A calm soul is a heavenly being.

People are seen through the stained glass window of our imagination. ( "The hidden sides of his character" )

Prayer crowns God with the honor and glory due to His name and God crowns prayer with assurance and comfort. The most praying souls are the most assured souls.

We realized what a spot we were in. We had to deliver the goods, or else there wouldn't ever be another chance for women pilots in any part of the service.

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

A lotta cats copy the Mona Lisa, but people still line up to see the original.

What makes life interesting are the challenges we face.

It is the church's responsibility, the government's responsibility, and the personal responsibility of every one of us to love.

We need a pharmacological intervention on anti-social behavior or we are not going to get hold of our dilemma.

Japan and Europe seem to have a little more cultural education and so the crowds have been a little more big and enthusiastic, and the places I've played seem a little more classy.