My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

We're not friends, Mark, " I reply sadly. "We're strangers with memories.

Soil, blood, seed- Let me draw strength from you. let it be enough.

He is a unicorn. I want to gently capture him and bring him back to my lab for research.

I've wanted to own a DeLorean since I was 10 years old, but it always seemed like a silly daydream. Like owning the "A-Team" van or something.

It is easy to lie with statistics; it is easier to lie without them.

We have the authority to take action, but responsible authority means not only being able to take action, but knowing when and how to take that action.

I'd rather look ridiculous when everybody else does than plain and sensible all by myself.

The whole world is simply nothing more than a flow chart for capital.

I have both exploited and been exploited in the print field.

You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.