My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Before you go to bed, write down three 'gratefuls' for the day and three 'did wells' (they can even include something as simple as doing the laundry)-the results can be amazing!

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

My confidence is in the idea that I may be wrong on this or that. No man in this life should ever have to bear the burden of perfection.

Voice is not just the sound that comes from your throat, but the feelings that come from your words.

Every public speaker likes his hearer to imagine his oratory as an unpremeditated gift of nature, and not the result of prolonged and patient study [Lionel Logue said]

Numbersign questionmark you" and "Asterisk exclamation point the world.

It doesn't entirely make sense that if 51 senators are from one party, and they can stick together, they can do whatever they want. Especially in this age of blatant, shameless gerrymandering.

I worked the drive-through at McDonald's and tried out different accents - Italian, Russian, Irish.

That which is measured improves. That which is measured and reported improves exponentially.

Nature's never quite Sure she hasn't erred In her vague design.

We are poor mortals, but it dreams to us that we can fly.

In fact, a case could be made that worrying about a problem actually prevents you from resolving it, because it deceives your mind into thinking that you're doing something when really you're not.