My mother was very, very Protestant. I grew up Presbyterian, and I went to church every Sunday until I was 18. I was forced to.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

I want to manufacture a feud.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer.

I have to stay true to myself.

I've been coerced into free will.

Understand the poem not the poet.

Don't let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold. You've got to set a high bar.

I don't like hawking 'round other people's memories. That wasn't part of the deal when I was born.

Some people complain that they will not live forever, but cannot think of things to do on a wet Sunday afternoon.

Nations are born out of travail and suffering

You can start right where you stand and apply the habit of going the extra mile by rendering more service and better service than you are now being paid for.

I wish there were more young people in the big houses, but sometimes it's really hard for them to believe in the youth because they go for what's the most expected.

I'm not so sure that the value of art is all it is cracked up to be.

Prayer is an act of love; words are not needed. Even if sickness distracts from thoughts, all that is needed is the will to love.