My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own.

Humans are the reproductive organs of technology.

Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.

The characteristic common to God and man is apparently that: the desire and the ability to make things.

Nobody can go back to how it was. The dust bowl dried us all up bitter as seeds and spat us out all over the land and none of us yet has taken root.

Most humans expressed affection by pressing their lips together, a simple act, so why would anyone feel the need to research the process?

The way television works is that directors come in and out, and they're not there all the time, following every character through every scene. They're vagabonds who go from one show to another.

Hope is the adrenalin of the soul.

At my growing years of 18 to 21 years old in the Minor Leagues, I dreamed of being a Philadelphia Phillie.

An intellectual hatred is the worst.