My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that.

I'd like to have a drink with Bill Maher and see how he feels. We were too conservative coming over to Fox from fX, and got ourselves off our best game

I'm responsible for what I am and what I want to be. I'm not trying to live by another's standards.

Some people come in and really freak. There's movement everywhere, even a dancing housekeeper!

Be. Here. NOW. Don't forget to breathe. When all else fails, grab a clown nose.

That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.

When a contestant actually loses consciousness, I think that's a good sign.

I work best when people are here to puncture me

Particularly with live TV, I have a really good time reacting in the moment to things that are going on around me. I try to think of the viewers' perspective too.

I'm not a big raised stage fan.

I would think anyone who does anything is always concerned about their customers.

What happens when you pray for an angel and get a vampire instead? R E Mullins

Your words are wise, but are your actions too?

It was different, though, knowing something in your thoughts and then hearing it confirmed, made real, planted in the world like a tree

Trying to erase, hide, discredit, degrade, and suppress a writer's work, merit, voice, and influence―is unconstitutional. Censorship only exists to protect corruption.

If I didn't think you were the devil, I'd say you'd be able to seduce even him.

I guess it's nice to have someone to love while you're looking for someone to love.

We [The Replacements] formed as a rock and roll band, and that was the path we chose to take. Whenever we deviated from it we felt, unless everybody was into it, there was tension.

Two hopeful hearts, two lands apart. Together there's no end to what our dream can start.

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

There was nothing, nothing to depend on. And why was I surprised?