My new years resolution? I will be less laz.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.

In the days following the crash, an axiom as old as the Republic came into play once more. In good times Wall Street wanted Washington to leave it alone. In bad times it wanted Washington to act.

Attain the unattainable.

I think that's the most important thing-two things really, have fun and be yourself.

I had my shortcomings - crazy hair, braces, bad skin and all that stuff. I went through it all.

The casinos believe in math (and I don't mean numerology).They believe in the power of percentages and short pays, not in the power of magic stones, amulets and omens.

I have been fiercely private, in part because I could never understand how a journalist could be otherwise. I was also the mother of small children, and security concerns were paramount.

To an incompetent judge I must not lie, but I may be silent; to a competent I must answer.

The fans appreciate the success the young guys are having now because they know the game is clean, that they've finally got rid of all the performance-enhancing drug issues.

A true beanie should have a propellor on the top.