My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

We have already said more goodbyes than are necessary. Those were goodbyes that brought about the end of partings. We taught each other that no parting is possible.

He's marked his entrance with an error of some momentum

My cat can eat a whole watermelon.

The Holy Ghost is the greatest guarantor of inward peace in our unstable world.

It's been the same story ever since I can remember, ever since Wilson - the Republicans don't do a thing for the little man.

But sometimes the very things you fall in love with people for, become the things you like least about them, in the end.

Adrenaline is an amazing thing.

The eye is the first circle; the horizon which it forms is the second; and throughout nature this primary figure is repeated without end.

Do we fear terrorism so much that we throw out our Constitution, and are we unwilling and afraid to debate our Constitution?

I feel like my pure and proper image is causing others to be really cautious about becoming close to me. They think I sleep as soon as it hits midnight