My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Spending time alone with God gives us victory over the flesh.

This is what loss was, what death was: an escape into the luminous wave-forms, into the ineffable speed of the light-years and the parsecs, the eternally receding distances of the cosmos.

If I fail, I should not fail for lack of trying, but in spite.

The older Mercedes is absolutely beautiful. It's got that lovely purring feeling as the engine ticks over, which you just don't get in a modern car.

A good balance of winning and losing is important. If you just win all the time, you won't get anything out of it; having some tough losses can be really important.

... when caught unawares I usually tell the truth, and what's duller than that?

Nine times out of ten, when you extend your arms to someone, they will step in, because basically they need precisely what you need.

If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.

If you really want to examine your strength, see how many times a day you are disturbed.

The world was going on as usual. All the time she was writing the world had continued.