My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

I am mad, I am going under, I must follow the advice of a friend, and pay no heed to myself.

Instead of fumbling with hot beakers andBunsen burners, I concentrated on the leisurely pursuit of fondling.

I didn't want to be discriminated against because of my gender and status. I promised myself I was never going to be treated as a second-class citizen.

I can do lovers. I can do Sir Galahad types. I'm not going to limit myself in voice-overs to irascible old men.

I am one who believes that the people's views and values are represented by those who they elect in the legislative branch and not unelected federal judges appointed for life.

Kings kill; clowns don't; therefore the clowns of the kings are more valuable than the kings!

Of all the disciplines involved in making anything - TV, film or anything I do - the writing is the most valuable commodity.

Depay walks around like he has won 10 European Cups. This attitude... what's it all about?

My dear sisters, do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle.

God does not need us or the rest of creation for anything, yet we and the rest of creation can glorify him and bring him joy.