My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing." ~ Sam (Hilary Duff), A Cinderella Story

Each and every Indian, man or woman, child or Elder, is a spirit-warrior.

You don't have to be old in America to say of a world you lived in: That world is gone.

You were patient, but I worried that your very patience tempted Kevin to try it.

Mr. Brooks and I have been friends forever. He is in seventh heaven with his new success on Broadway.

As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.

To yield reverence to another, to hold ourselves and our lives at his disposal, is not slavery; often, it is the noblest state in which a man can live in this world.

Every time you get rejected, say: 'Next!'

Being a good teammate is when you try to sprint down a ball that everyone thinks is going out of bounds. But you go after it anyways and you get it.