My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

Love is the strength of the life.

Chris has turned out to be a revolutionary leader who started businesses for the first time of its kind that influenced the nation’s young blood and across the world.

I wear the key of memory, and can open every door in the house of my life.

One of the paramount reasons for staying attractive is so you can have somebody to go to bed with.

Fortunately, it doesn't seem to have made a lot of difference to my audience that I'm as bald as a billiard ball!

I remember those days right after I graduated from college. All I had to do was wake up in the morning and think about writing songs. It's not like that anymore, needless to say.

We were fractious and overpaid. Our mornings lacked promise. At least those of us who smoked had something to look forward to at ten-fifteen.

Audiences believe what you believe. It's a matter of believing yourself. If I believe me, then you've got no choice. None at all.

You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.

No one needs a word processor if he has an efficient secretary.