My personal life is lived as 'me,' but my professional life is lived as other people. In other words, when I go to the office, I lie down, dream, and become 'someone else.' That's my job.

For me, a play is a form of writing which isn't complete until it is interpreted by actors. But it's still a form of writing. And so most of my time is spent thinking about how to write a sentence.

It's obviously a characteristic of human beings that we like to feel superior to others, but our problem is we are not superior

Who says one instance of writing has anything in common with another instance?

Even with my wife, I find sharing soup is hard.

I have been vain since birth.

Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine!

I spend most of my time thinking about things like laundry and buying stationery supplies.

I'm not proud to be me, I'm not excited to be me, but I find that I am me, and like most other individuals, I send out little signals; I tell everyone else how everything looks from where I am.

Patriotism is considered to be an emotion a person ought to feel. But why? Why is it nobler to love your own country than to love someone else's?

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

Mind what you say, but mind more closely what you do. For though children close their ears to you, their eyes remain wide open.

Ravaged all, Bogo tabalTimore toronTotoo now gone...

Women have a predestination to suffering.

My chest expanded and I suddenly wanted to beat on it with my fist. The girl was making me go all caveman." -Marcus Hardy

I'd started going to acting classes at 14, played 'Medea' at 15 and really wanted to be a classical actress.

All cats are gray in the dark.

You’re shaking … so am I. It’s because of Jerusalem, isn’t it? One doesn’t go to Jerusalem, one returns to it. That’s one of its mysteries.

Our EMF meter was jumping off the charts. We found her alarm clock was causing crazy electro-magnetic fields around it. We spent $22.99 on a nice digital clock, and she never saw an apparition again.

These people have elevated audacity to symphonic and operatic levels. The Florida Supreme Court relied on new law to resolve the election dispute down there.

Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up.